Heartbreak
by Galxychld
Summary: Jo must face her feelings after the events of "Stoned" and Zane interrupts her in the middle of it.


**Summary: Jo finally faces her feelings after seeing Zoe and Zane in the infirmary, and Zane interrupts her.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it at all-would I be writing fanfic if I owned it? No, I'd be writing the episodes to my satisfaction! Anyway, just borrowing these two and promise to put them back safe and sound when I'm done-hopefully in a very heated position. **

**Author's Note: So the main idea of this came to me after watching "Stoned." By the way, spoilers for everything up to "Stoned." I felt soo bad for Jo to have to see Zane acting like that around Zoe, who she is friends with. I was thinking how would Jo react, besides what we saw, to Zoe and Zane and the whole situation? I wrote this little post-ep thing of how I would have liked to see Jo react and Zane respond. Anything mentioned in here that is not canon is because I figure that in the alternate reality, some things might've happened to the Jo from that reality that differed from what happened to our original Jo. So here goes, and hope you like it, and PLEASE read and REVIEW!**

**Heartbreak**

It had been four days since The Incident, as Jo Lupo referred to the heart-rending sight of seeing Zane being "friendly" with Zoe Carter, and Jo was doing her best to avoid Zane and only speak to him when absolutely necessary. She very nearly had thrown up on her way home that day, ignoring S.A.R.A.H.'s concerned tones when she'd slammed open the front door and made a beeline to her room to lie miserably on the bed. She knew, intellectually, that it wasn't Zane's fault he didn't have a relationship with this reality's Jo and was therefore completely free to act as he wished with other women. In fact, it was probably her alternate self's fault that she and Zane were at such odds. However, every time he acted hostile or indifferent to her, or flaunted his dates, her heart broke a little more. And she _had_ to deal with him. This was now home.

It was especially bad to see him like that with Zoe, not just because she was such good friends with Jack Carter's daughter, but because she herself had told Zoe to go for it with the guy she liked. Even Jack's insistence that he wasn't fine with Zoe's interest in Zane didn't help Jo feel any better. The pain she'd felt upon seeing Zoe and Zane interacting was almost worse than the pain of that large caliber bullet suddenly invading her chest.

She knew that Zoe suspected something. Jack was terrible at hiding things from his daughter, and he kept sneaking little sideways looks of pity and understanding at Jo that Jo was sure Zoe could pick up on. Allison had visited to talk to her about it, telling Zoe that she and Jo needed to talk about some GD business, but she didn't think Zoe quite bought it. Allison was quite understanding about the pain of seeing Zane and Zoe like that, though she'd cautioned Jo about displaying it too much, to keep them all safe. Plus, Jo was now vastly uncomfortable around Zoe, and was avoiding _her_ as much as she could, considering they were all living at Jack's house. She had caught a confused look on Zoe's face when she'd breezed through this morning with barely a hello to the young woman. It was so hard to keep it together, and she was at the knife's edge of holding on to her composure. She hadn't even allowed herself to cry…

Jo walked quickly down the corridor at GD with a status report in her hands, hoping to catch Fargo before he want to lunch. She snorted slightly. Fargo was just lucky that Allison was one of the five who'd time traveled and could help him out, since had he been alone in this, it was highly likely he would already have made some catastrophic mistake that exposed his inexperience in running GD. Jo knew, as head of GD security, that several people had noticed and remarked on how Fargo had mellowed over the last month or so. Jo only hoped he would remember to try and be a little more like this reality's hard-nosed Fargo, or this whole "fake it 'til you make it" house of cards would come crashing down around their ears.

She looked up then and saw Zane heading in her direction. Jo froze for an instant as Zane looked up and caught her eyes, opening his mouth as if to say something. Her eyes widened fractionally before she whirled around and headed back to her office at a near run. She couldn't deal with him now, she just couldn't, not with her emotions so raw and near the surface. She reached her office and slammed the door shut, leaning against it and struggling to get her breathing under control.

Zane Donovan frowned as he watched Jo heading towards her office as fast as she could short of outright running. Now he was absolutely sure. He'd been seeing signs of it since all those people affected by that redesigned PERM stuff had been cured, and this latest reaction was proof positive: Lupo was avoiding him. For a day or two after, he'd thought she was simply busy getting things back in order at GD. But it wasn't like her to pass up an opportunity to bother him about a project, or his behavior, or hell, even his wardrobe. He found himself oddly missing her acerbic comments and the sight of her gorgeous dark eyes narrowed at him for one fault or another.

He grimaced slightly. Gorgeous eyes. He remembered that was the first thing he'd thought when meeting Jo Lupo: she had gorgeous eyes, a pretty face, and a great body. Then she'd opened those pouty and entirely kissable lips and ruined it all with her verbal cut-down, though the sexy husky voice did make the comment more bearable. Still, at times he did wonder, even though she'd turned down his date requests numerous times, what it would be like if Jo treated him as warmly as Zoe did.

Zoe…He allowed a brief smile to tug at his lips. Zoe Carter was warm, and friendly, and he'd be blind not to notice her gentle flirtation with him. He allowed it because, well, he was, after all, a guy, and she was a pretty girl, and he found her attention flattering. Plus, he really liked the thought of pissing off Jack Carter. But there was something…not quite right about it. Never mind that she was at least ten years younger than him, and he'd watched her grow up these last couple of years almost as a big brother might. It was more than that. Zoe was a great girl, but somehow…not exactly what Zane was looking for. He wanted someone a little more challenging, who would stand up to him and push him to be more than he currently tried to be. Zoe was sweet and caring, but she didn't challenge him. Not like…, well, like Jo did. And the way she _had_ been challenging him recently, giving him chances to prove himself more than a pity case GD took on just because he was smart.

Zane frowned again. He had to get to the bottom of this. He wanted to know why, exactly, Jo was doing her level best to keep out of his way. He made a snap decision and strode towards her office, determined to get answers from GD's lovely but exasperating Head of Security.

Meanwhile, Jo was wandering around her office, arms folded tightly and defensively across her chest, as memories flooded her mind. Her verbal sparring with _her_ Zane when they'd first met, the excitement of their first dates, even the spectacular failure that was their first date and the incredibly better second one, and falling more and more in love with him as he revealed the kind of man she'd suspected he was inside. The little comments that made her laugh, his gentle touch on her arm or her face, the liquid rush of desire and love when he kissed her, the first time he told her he loved her; these treasures moments filled her mind.

She leaned heavily against the wall, her arms now wrapped around her stomach. She could feel her eyes prickle with hot tears, and despite her best efforts, they started slow salty trails down her face. She remembered the pleasant shock of Zane's marriage proposal that left her too stunned to answer the way she wanted, too surprised that he wanted to be with her in that way, and the horrified shock upon her return from 1947 when she realized this Zane didn't love her at all. She remembered _her_ Zane pulling her close to him in a warm enveloping hug, and _this_ Zane treating her like his biggest antagonist. And yet _this_ Zane, in this reality that they were now firmly stuck in, had so many things about him hinting of the Zane that she knew and loved…

Jo slid down the wall and huddled against it, hugging her knees to her chest. She remembered how Zane looked sitting by her when she woke up from surgery, uncomfortable and twitchy and leaving at the first opportunity, and how he'd breezed easily in to see Zoe and talk to her about her ordeal. She remembered his anger at her during the rage incident, and thought about the first time_ her_ Zane kissed her, and then how sweetly this Zane kissed Zoe's cheek, as reported by an exasperated Carter. Jo reached for the chain hanging at her neck and clutched Zane's ring in her hand. Suddenly she felt a lump swell in her throat. She tried to hold it back, but this was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. All of her pain in the last month hit her, and she couldn't stop herself. Jo put her head down on her knees and sobbed for all she was worth.

Zane rounded the corner and spotted Jo's office. The door was closed, but that wasn't about to stop him. Jo was going to tell him why she was avoiding him, what she thought he'd done this time, or he wouldn't leave her office. She was incredibly stubborn, but then again, so was he. He knocked on the door, but she didn't answer.

"Hey, Lupo," he called, "I need to talk to you. Open up."

When she still refused to answer, he tried again.

"Staying in there's not gonna make me go away, Lupo," he said. He could feel his teeth starting to clench at her obvious disregard. "I need to talk to you about this whole avoiding me thing, and what exactly you think I did to you to make you like this. Come on, Lupo, when was the last time you passed up the chance to yell at me?"

Silence from the other side of the door. But no…not quite. Zane put his ear to the door and could hear something. It had a rhythmic feel to it, a sound almost rising and falling. It was soft, muffled, but something in it made him feel nervous. What in the hell was Lupo doing in there? He grabbed the knob and started to turn it, surprised that she hadn't locked the door. She wasn't at her desk, and at first he couldn't see her. But he could hear that soft sound again, and this time he could place it. Someone was crying. Why in the world would someone be crying in here? He finally spotted something against the far wall and stepped towards it. The sight that greeted him made him freeze in his tracks.

Jo Lupo was huddled against the wall, knees drawn up to her chest and arms wrapped tightly around her legs. Her head was down on her knees, and she was crying. No, not crying; she was sobbing. Her shoulders shook with the force of her weeping, and the miserable sounds were barely muffled by her knees.

Zane had never, EVER, seen Jo cry. Not the time she'd gotten clipped by that lunatic Carter arrested two years ago, not when Taggert up and abandoned her, hell, not even when she'd woken up from having a bullet pulled out of her chest. But this, oh, this was definitely crying, and seeing her huddled in a small, crumpled, breakable mess was just wrong. Small and breakable were not words he'd ever associated with Jo Lupo, and seeing her like this, hearing the sobs that sounded like they were being ripped from her throat…he hated it. This view of Jo tore at his own heart. He carefully dropped to his knees next to her.

She seemed not to notice him. When he placed an unsure hand on her shoulder, she didn't move. Zane gripped her shoulder more tightly, and she suddenly gulped and stiffened. She turned her head and regarded him with tears still streaming from her red eyes.

"What are you doing here?" she rasped, still trying to be standoffish as tears clogged her throat. He noticed that she was holding something clenched tightly in her hand. It looked like a necklace. He'd never seen Jo Lupo wearing any kind of jewelry. Zane hesitated briefly.

"I…I just wanted…" He sighed. "You've been avoiding me, Jo. When have you ever _not_ been gung-ho to chew me out about anything and everything? But it's been four days since you've yelled at me, hell, since you've said anything except to request status updates on projects. So tell me, Jo, what horrible thing do you think I did that made you want to avoid me at all costs?"

Jo's lips trembled and her eyes still leaked tears, but she was stubbornly silent. In fact, she tried to turn away from him again. Zane wouldn't have it, instead reaching around to grab her other shoulder and turn her to fully face him.

Jo felt panic grip her. She'd barely allowed _her_ Zane to see her in any kind of emotional breakdown, and to have _this_ reality's Zane see her like this was unbearable. It didn't help that the concerned look on his face, concern for her, was eerily familiar. Her Zane had looked at her that way too. It was suddenly too much.

"You're…just…_you_," she burst out, struggling to keep coherent. His eyebrows rose in confusion, and Jo tried to explain without revealing the dangerous secret she shared with Jack, Allison, Fargo, and Henry, regardless of the fact that Henry'd told Grace. Grace loved him, after all, but Zane was under no emotional obligation to keep Jo's secret.

"I….loved…someone, before I…came here," she said. It was true. Before they'd been thrown into this reality, she'd been very much in love with her Zane.

"We didn't get along at first, but…he didn't give up on me…he loved me enough to…fight for us." She gulped and tried to take a relaxing breath. When that failed miserably, she continued with her story.

"He asked me to marry him…and shortly after…there was an accident…and I lost him," she finished in a near whisper. She looked up at Zane, who was watching her almost…tenderly.

"You remind me of him. You act like him….you look like him…but you're not him. He called me Jo-Jo too. I don't hate it…you startled me when you said it…he was the only one to ever call me that. And then I saw you with Zoe. He…he was like that with me. And it hurt." Jo bit her lip hard enough to draw blood.

"It hurt so much…because I miss him…and you look like him but look at me like I'm your worst enemy…I just miss him so much….and I'm so tired of being alone!" The last word was a wail as she squeezed the ring in her hand and started to sob uncontrollably.

Zane was speechless. He'd never known Jo had been engaged, or that the man she loved was gone. Or that he'd unknowingly caused her pain by looking and acting like her lost love. No wonder she'd been so prickly when they met. No wonder she'd turned down his requests for dates so vehemently. She couldn't help resenting him for not being the man she loved.

He pulled her towards him. Jo struggled briefly, and then collapsed against his chest, one hand still clutching that necklace, the other gripping his shirt tightly. Zane wrapped his arms around her and gently rubbed her back.

"Hey, Jo, sshhh, it's OK," he whispered. "I'm sorry I'm not him. I'm sorry it hurt you to have me remind you of him. But you're not alone, Jo. You have friends here. Carter's your friend, and Allison, and Vince…and me, if you'll let me."

Her breathing hitched for a moment as she considered his words. She kept crying, turning her face into his shirt, but she felt a little more relaxed to Zane. He tightened his arms a bit. It actually hurt him to see her in pain like this. He kept holding her, letting his cheek rest against her silky hair and closing his eyes. God, he hoped this was helping her. He loved teasing her, but he never meant to hurt her.

Jo, for her part, tried to get herself under control. It felt so good to have Zane hold her, regardless of their relationship-or lack thereof-in this reality. But Zane readily holding her when she needed him to wasn't something she could just expect here, so she tried to stop crying before this became severely awkward.

When Zane laid his head against hers, Jo involuntarily closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Oh, God, she had needed this! For just a minute, she allowed herself the luxury of relaxing into his embrace. However, the stress of the last few weeks hit her then, and Jo quickly drifted into sleep against Zane.

Zane felt Jo sag against him, and her soft even breaths told him she'd fallen asleep. He looked down at her as her head tipped back on his shoulder. Her face was tear-stained and her nose was red, but she was still one of the most beautiful women Zane had ever seen. He allowed a gentle smile to cross his lips as his hand reached up to softly smooth a few strands of wayward hair away from her forehead.

He looked over at the couch in her office. Jo would be beyond embarrassed if she woke up in his arms. He carefully slid an arm under her knees and gathered her to his chest before carefully bracing himself and rising. He carried Jo to the couch and settled her down. He tried to get a look at her necklace to see what she had on it. He assumed it was her engagement ring, but Jo had let go of the necklace and it slid back into her shirt. Zane could only see a glint of the gold chain at her throat. It didn't matter, he figured. If she really would agree to be his friend, then he was sure she'd show him.

Zane paused, looking down at Jo. She looked more peaceful than before. He took her hand to lay it on her stomach and stopped, looking at her fingers against his. It looked…right, somehow. He blinked and quickly set her hand down, but couldn't help himself from sliding his fingers along the smooth skin of her hand.

He started to leave and stopped at the door, turning to watch Jo sleep. There was a feeling in his chest whenever he looked at Jo these days, a feeling he was almost afraid to categorize. He'd always thought her attractive, always had been lusting after her, but this feeling was more than that. Ever since Founders Day, when she'd burst into the jail and joked about marrying him, something had been there. He found that he'd actually kind of liked the thought of her agreeing to marry him. And ever since that, Jo had been different towards him, softer, more accepting and encouraging. Hell, she'd trusted him enough to set him free, trusting that he would return to help them out. That unnamable _feeling_, which he supposed had always been there, hidden under his irritation at her attitude, was growing.

Just then Jo sighed. "Zane," she murmured before she turned on her side with a small smile.

Zane froze. Surely not. Jo couldn't have said his name…could she? Was she…_dreaming_ about him? From the look of it, she was having a pleasant dream. And somehow, apparently, if he'd heard correctly, he was in it.

He stood at her door indecisively for several seconds before he could convince his body to move. He really wanted to know why Jo said his name, but he wasn't about to wake her. He quickly opened the door and slipped outside, closing the door softly behind him.

He looked around to see if anyone was there to catch him leaving Jo's office, but the corridor was clear. Zane started to walk briskly down the hallway to his lab with a sense of purpose in his steps.

Well, _that_ had been interesting. For the first time he'd seen a vulnerable Jo Lupo, and he found that he very much liked being the one to comfort her. Not because she'd been vulnerable in front of him, which he planned never to bring up if he wanted to keep all his limbs intact, but because holding her, soothing her in his arms, felt very right to him. He hoped that this afternoon was a positive step towards becoming friends with Jo. Zane entered his lab with a smile.

Unbeknownst to him, in spite of everything she'd been through and the embarrassment of having Zane find her in an emotional meltdown, Jo was smiling in her sleep. She, too, hoped this was a step towards having Zane in her life again. Oh, she hoped so.

Jo sighed again and settled more deeply into sleep, dreaming of Zane and wishing for a better tomorrow.

**The End**

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